Halloween, 1997. Just like that, one day to the next, our beautiful 17-year-old daughter lost her head. She started to say strange things, she barely slept, and she was agitated, constantly fidgeting. She had started to sneak out at night, and we had stopped sleeping in order to keep an eye on her. Her father and sister took her to Sainte-Justine, and a few days later we got the diagnosis: manic-depression (now referred to as “bipolar disorder type 1”). They told us our daughter was experiencing an acute psychosis.
We were beside ourselves. Absolutely bewildered. Our world turned upside down from one day to the next, and we could barely tell which way was up. We felt lost, and we were on the brink of exhaustion. Paul kept saying, “It can’t be. It’ll pass. It’ll work itself out.” As for me, I was self-employed, working from home. I had to take care of my kids and try to focus on my job. But all day, I just thought about my daughter.
In my relationship with my partner, silence reigned. We avoided talking about the matter, as our opinions often clashed. We each dealt with this by ourselves. And when we did talk, it always revolved around the illness. It felt like our lives were no longer our own.
Thankfully, I saw an ad in the paper for a coffee/get-together at L’Accolade, so I decided to go. I immediately felt at home. There, I met several people who were going through the same things as me: doubt, uncertainty, powerlessness, solitude. So, I went back. I was also able to meet with a counsellor. Sometimes, you can feel pretty small when dealing with healthcare professionals at the hospital; you don’t know what questions to ask, and they don’t always have all the answers. L’Accolade helped us ask the right questions to the right people.
And so, when our son found himself hospitalized for the same illness, we already had some experience with the matter. And even though we had some tough times trying to get him to seek treatment, at least we had the help of L’Accolade. We were no longer alone in this.
L’Accolade helped us to grow and evolve. We’re now closer as a couple, and we’ve learned to appreciate the good times. Whatever happens, we know we did our part. We know we were good parents.
To anyone who recognizes themselves in this testimonial: don’t wait until your relationship is on the brink. And to all the men who refuse to seek help, Paul has a message for you: “Listen to your wife. Don’t be a smartass. Go talk to L’Accolade. They were a huge help to me.”
Our children still have bipolar disorder, but they’re doing much better, and we can all once again begin to hope. Just like our children, we’ve had our highs and lows to deal with. But now, we’re well equipped to handle whatever comes our way.
Believe us. Do yourselves a favour and call L’Accolade. You won’t regret it.
Colette and Paul Boulianne
Châteauguay