When we received the borderline personality disorder diagnosis for our 19-year-old daughter, we were relieved. At last we were able to put a finger on her unstable character, her mood swings, her inappropriate behaviour, her frustration and her repeated slamming of the door. Yes, relieved… but now what? Only questions and guilt followed.
What is this illness, exactly? Can it be treated? Why her? How were we supposed to act—and react—in the face of her conduct? Had we veered off course in her upbringing? Will our family ever find peace again after so many clashes due to her behaviour? We were able to find answers to all our questions thanks to the amazing staff at L’Accolade, where we joined the program geared toward friends and family of people with BPD (borderline personality disorder).
It was such a comfort to know that we weren’t the only ones living these highs and lows; and gaining a better understanding of what the person with the illness was going through, so we could improve our relationship without sacrificing ourselves as individuals, was especially appreciated.
These group meetings were a source of great joy. In the company of others who were going through similar conflicts and situations, we were able to share with one another, to understand one another and to find solutions to one another’s problems without ever feeling judged. It’s important to understand that you can’t solve these problems only with love or with positivity. You have to learn how to love this person while making sure they don’t run your life.
This program was a lifeline for my husband and me, and it gave us hope for our entire family. I trust that we can find harmony as a family once again.
A huge thanks goes out to the counsellors at L’Accolade and to everyone who was a part of our group.
B.V.
Châteauguay